LETTER HOME

Fortunata, the eldest of the young octopi, chewed her pen thoughtfully. Octopi know all about ink, but waterproof paper is never successful. Ordinary paper would have to do. She would get it laminated at the Post Office.

Dear Mum and Dad,
wrote Fortunata,
I hope you are both safe, and keeping nice and wet during this hot weather. Granny took us to the festival. In the craft area we learnt weaving and crochet. Elvis crocheted Elvira into a knot and we didn't find her till bed-time. Granny threatened to turn Elvis into a permanent knot when Granda arrives. Meanwhile she put him in disgrace. - I'm not sure where it is, but they don't have ice-cream. - While Elvis was in disgrace, a sound-man thought he was some spare cable, so he rolled him up tidily and put him in the spares box. Another technician got him out and connected him up. Then the lights blew and burnt a hole in the big marquee. Elvis fell out of the ceiling with a sizzling noise. He's getting better but he says he has a headache. His eyes twirl and his tentacles sparkle, with blue light dancing along them. Granda says he's lucky. If he misbehaves again, Granda says he'll stuff him in a glass tube and use him for ink.

Fortunata paused. What else was happening? Family news always seemed to be about Elvis and his latest mischief. Would the day ever come when Elvira's exploits would cause family consternation?

Moral: There's an Elvis in every family, but watch out for the Elviras.