Here is a new story from the ALL CREATURES FESTIVAL. If you want to remember what raccoons are like, watch them on Utube.

NEW OFFICE STAFF

Cicero the secretary bird had run the festival office for as long as anyone could remember. His black and white feathers looked neat and tidy, and very efficient. Computers were a doddle to him, tapping away with all his claws and his beak. "Black and white," was his slogan, "get it down in black and white."

Now that the All Creatures festival was growing bigger every year, Cicero persuaded the management to advertise for more staff. They were thrilled with the list of applicants: parrots, cockatoos, finches. "Some new friends for you, Cicero," said the management team: "a bit of colour and life in the office." Cicero glared at them. "Colour!" he grumbled: "what's wrong with smart black and white. You'll pay extra for colour."

Interview day arrived, and several birds arrived for interviews, all smartly combed and carrying their cvs. The parrots talked well enough, but didn't listen to the questions so didn't give sensible answers. They kept forgetting what they had said, and saying the same things over and over again. "Have a nice day, have a nice day. Has that kettle boiled? Make the tea, make the tea." Management were glad when the parrots' turn was over.

In the outer office, the cockatoo had darkened the computer screen so that he could talk to his reflection, chattering and bowing and pecking the screen. It was obvious he would never do any work, so the interviewers wasted no time, and the cockatoo was quickly on his way home.

The two finches did their best, but they were too small to reach all the keyboard without fluttering around all the time. Papers got blown onto the floor or across the wrong piles. Cicero was beside himself with worry at the confusion. Management tactfully told the finches they might find them a more specialist role, working with tickets.

At last they all took a break outside, to stretch their shoulders and get some fresh air. The bin was full of black and white fur. "Hey, Cicero," they asked, "has someone dumped a fur coat?" The fur shook itself and a black nose poked out, followed by two bright eyes. "Can't a fellow get some sleep?" asked the voice. The eyes closed and the nose snuggled back into the fur.

But Cicero had noticed the colour-scheme: black and white, the practical colour-scheme everyone can trust. The management team went back inside for cups of tea, discussing what to do next. Should they advertise again?

Cicero stood beside the bin. After a while, one eye opened among the fur. "Hello," said Cicero, "Have you been here before?" Without waiting for an answer he produced two biscuits, held one out to the bundle of fur, and started to nibble the other. A black and white furry hand emerged from the heap and reached for the biscuit. Cicero stepped further away. "Come on out," he said, "and let's meet properly." The furry bundle jumped out of the bin and pattered across to Cicero. "Stand and deliver," it demanded, posing like a highwayman, arm outstretched. Cicero smiled at the comical face, striped with black fur like a burglar's mask, - a raccoon!

"How long have you been in our bin?" asked Cicero, handing over the biscuit. The raccoon shuffled its feet. "Nothing wrong with your bin," it said, "Lovely place to live."

"Come on; the truth now," insisted Cicero. "Who are you and what are you doing here?" The raccoon hung its head: "My name's Ringo," he said. "My dad put my computer in the skip because he said I was wasting all my time playing games. The skip was too high to jump into, and anyway, it got taken away before I could prevent it; so I thought, 'I bet there are other computers out there, dumped in skips and bins,' so I left home and I've been looking ever since." Ringo looked wistfully at the office window. "I stayed here all week," it said. "You all seem so friendly." Cicero guessed how lonely it was feeling. "Come on in," he said; "Cup of tea, and we'll give you a test on the computer."

Ringo was brilliant on the computer. Cicero hoped he had found the assistant he needed. "Black and white," he thought, "but am I sure I can trust it?" Out loud he said: "Congratulations: you got top marks in every skills test." He gave Ringo an apple. The raccoon munched hungrily. "Now you must go home to tell your parents you are all right. I bet they are worried. I will ring them up to check you are who you say you are, and if everything is alright, you can start work next week."

Ringo's parents had been desperate for news. They were thrilled to see him, and to learn he was getting a job in IT. Ringo was back at the festival office ten days later, with his black and white fur all combed and tidy, ready to start work.

MESSAGE: Stick to your standards, and trust your instincts.